Page 17 - Feb 2018 Wellness Magazine
P. 17
1. Facts: are both people 5. Actions: choice of words (is the
communicating about the same set of intent to create harm?) + tone of voice
facts? Try to separate the facts from + non-verbal speech = body language,
thoughts or feelings. posture, eye contact, facial
expressions, etc.
2. Interpretations, Thoughts or
Perceptions: Each person interprets a “The medium is the message” => the
fact differently based on their belief way the message is delivered is the
system, personality, values and message itself.
experience.
6. Self: The communication center,
3. Feelings: how we are feeling, our which includes the issue, topic or
conflict at hand, has been “filtered” by
the facts, interpretations, thoughts,
feelings, intentions, and choices of
behavior/ actions.
Listening and Feedback
Did I say what I meant to say? – Invite
feedback to clarify communication.
Someone who’s not listening lets their
mind drift and is already preparing the
next argument or opposing thought;
inaccurate feedback or limited eye
contact.
Listening is an active, not a passive
process. When two people argue, they
only hear “what they want to hear”, not
what’s actually said. This equates to
the accusation of “not listening”. Most
couples start arguing and within 5
minutes are arguing about the way
they are arguing.
Don’t argue when you’re angry – you
will not be able to listen objectively.
current mood and frame of mind, etc. Give yourself time to cool down and
can sub-consciously affect decisions then broach the subject when you are
and thoughts. in a more reasonable frame of mind.
4. Intentions, Needs or Wants: hidden It’s important to give feedback –
agendas; are we looking for comfort, checking and confirming. Did I
clarification, information or simply a understand you correctly? Is this what
chance to interact? We judge ourselves you mean? I heard you say this: am I
on our intentions. right? Feedback can be verbal / non-
Bliss Planet 17
