I’m going to talk with you about some things that I’ve learned on my journey. Most from experience, some of them I’ve heard in passing. Many of them I’m still practicing, but all of them I do believe are true.
LIFE
Life is not easy…it’s not. Don’t try to make it that way.
Life is not fair, it never was. It never was. It isn’t now and it won’t ever be.
DO NOT PLAY VICTIM
Do not fall into the trap…
The entitlement trap of feeling like you’re a victim.
You are not!
Get over it and get on with it.
WHAT IS SUCCESS TO YOU
So the question we’ve got to ask ourselves is what success is to us, what success is to you.
Is it more money?
That’s fine, I’ve got nothing against money.
Maybe it’s a healthy family.
Maybe it’s a happy marriage.
Maybe it’s to help others.
Maybe to be famous.
To be spiritually sound.
To leave the world a little better place than you found it.
Continue to ask yourself that question. Now your answer may change over time and that’s fine, but do yourself this favor: whatever your answer is…
Don’t choose anything that will jeopardize your soul.
PRIORITIZE
Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character. Be brave, take the hill, but first answer that question. “What’s my hill?”
So first we have to define success for ourselves and then put in the work to maintain it. Make that daily tally. Tend to our garden. Keep the things that are important to us in good shape. Where you are not is as important as where you are. It is just as important where we are not as it is where we are.
IDENTIFY
Look, the first step that leads to our identity in life is usually not “I know who I am. I know who I am.”
That’s not the first step.
The first step is usually “I know who I am not.”
The process of elimination.
Defining ourselves by what we are not is the first step that leads us to really knowing who we are.
SPEND TIME WHERE IT SERVES YOU
You know that group of friends that you hang out with that might not bring out the best in you? You know…they gossip too much or they’re kind of shady…they really aren’t going to be there for you in a pinch. Or how about that bar that we keep going to that we always seem to have the worst hangover from? Or that computer screen, right? That computer screen that keeps giving us an excuse not to get out of the house and engage with the world and get some real human interaction?
Or how about that food we keep eating? That stuff that tastes so good going down, but makes us feel like crap the next week. We feel lethargic and we keep putting on weight?
well…those people, those places, those things…
Stop giving them your time and energy!
Just don’t go there!
I mean put them down!
And when you do this, when you put them down, when you quit going there, when you quit giving them your time…
You inadvertently find yourself spending more time and in more places that are healthy for you. That bring YOU more joy.
Why?
Because you just eliminated the Who’s, the where’s, the what’s, and the when’s that were keeping you from your identity.
Trust me…too many options will make a tyrant of us all. So get rid of the excess, the wasted time. Decrease your options. And if you do this you will have accidentally, almost innocently, put in front of you what is important to you by process of elimination.
Knowing who we are is hard. It’s hard.
Give yourself a break.
Eliminate who you are not first.
And you’re going to find yourself where you need to be.
Instead of creating outcomes that take from us, let’s create more outcomes that pay us back, fill us up, keep your fire lit, turn you on for the most amount of time in your future.
CREATE THE LIFE YOU DESIRE
We try our best. We don’t always do our best.
Our architecture is a verb as well and since we are the architects of our own lives…
Let’s study the habits, the practices, the routines that we have that lead to and feed our success, our joy, our honest pain, our laughter, our earned tears.
Let’s dissect that and give thanks for those things. And when we do that, guess what happens?
We get better at them!
And we have more to dissect.
BE DISCERNING…
Choose it because you want it.
Do it because you want to.
We are going to make mistakes…get over it. You got to own them and then you got to move on. Guilt and regret kill many a man before their time. So turn the page, get off the ride. You are the author of the book of your life!
Matthew McConaughey
Author: Bliss
Dedicated to making a positive difference for people, animals, and this beautiful planet!
