An excerpt from Loving Out Loud by Robyn Spizman
While it can be easy to feel like it is impossible to make a positive difference in these divisive times, the new book Loving Out Loud: The Power of a Kind Word by New York Times bestselling author Robyn Spizman promises that our words can go a long way in that regard, especially when we share them out loud.
Loving Out Loud offers readers creative ideas and practical insights for cultivating kindness in their lives while connecting more deeply with the world around them. The book is divided into chapters that provide readers with powerful ways for raising kinder children; loving their significant others, family, and friends; and valuing teachers, coworkers, and everyone in between. We hope you will enjoy this excerpt from the book.
Through the years, friends come in and out of our lives. Friends lift us up, share our joys and sorrows, and sustain us. If you have close lifelong friends, you are one of the lucky ones. What a gift! True friends show endless care and share words that soothe, motivate, calm, inspire, and support each other. Learning how to love each of our friends out loud takes time, and it helps to understand the uniqueness of each friendship.
As we build friendships, it’s vital to accept others, along with their shortcomings. That does not mean removing your boundaries or befriending just anyone, but it does mean celebrating your friends, acknowledging their strengths and accepting their weaknesses.
A loving and warm friendship can be one of life’s most beautiful gifts. Friendship is what happens naturally when two people care about each other’s well-being and feel connected. To have friends, we must be a friend and become the type of friend we want for ourselves. It begins with being a friend to yourself. Open yourself up and be aware of how you affect others, and make your friendships a priority. Our treasures in life are friends, who also can become like family.
A Friend Is a Gift You Give Yourself
What kind of friend are you? Good, better, or best? If you have a friend who’s truly there for you, you’re fortunate. It’s a two-way street, and feeling supported and heard is important. How you treat your friends and respond to their needs contributes to the quality of the ones you keep. The key to friendship is spending time together, sharing each other’s lives, and staying in touch.
Ways to be a Loving Out Loud (LOL) friend
· Alert your friends! Keep your friends up to date or notified about something helpful, be it a cause,a meaningful event, food, fun, a friend’s birthday, or a newsy update. See something on sale or a special item you know your friend’s grandchildren will love, put it on hold, text them a photo, and call up with your friend-alert sighting.
· Notice the blues. Consider who might be under the weather, lonely, going through a hard time, or dealing with a medical challenge, and call them up. Instead of rattling off all about your day, inquire how theirs was and listen with love. Leave a mailbox, doorman, or doorstep surprise of a card, note, treat, or gift that might offer a little TLC and comfort.
· Laugh out loud. Sharing a good laugh with a friend is the best. Re-create a memory from the past that was funny. Bring photographs of your past hairstyles and school pictures. When my childhood friend took me out for a birthday lunch, I brought my autograph book from camp when we were ten years old, school yearbooks, and letters saved from friends decades ago. We had a good laugh, and it was priceless.
· Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. Think through what a friend is really going through and, while you might not have an inkling of what their situation feels like, try to understand their point of view. If a friend is having a hard time, working nonstop, or not feeling well, consider ways you can lift their spirits. Staying in touch and finding out how you can help are among the most significant bond builders. Offer to drop off homemade soup, take the kids to dinner and a movie, or run an errand. Or don’t ask for permission to do a nice deed — just do it. Send a list of uplifting movies or shows you and other friends have loved to help her pass the time. Leave a basket filled with flowers or fresh fruit at their door, or coordinate a food train providing meals of their choice. One devoted family member showed up early on the day of a funeral and planted their front door planters, which were withering, in memory of her cousin’s father who had passed.
· Respond to your friends’ kind deeds or actions. Evie, an extremely gifted writer, penned me a thank-you for the vintage dresser jar filled with sixty-five shiny pennies I gave her on her sixty-fifth birthday. She wrote, “Your deep goodness and caring ways are without equal.” I could almost hear Evie saying this, and her note touched me deeply. Think of who has done something for you without equal.
· Create LOL nicknames. My mother Phyllis’s nickname was Nikki, and her best friend in college, Joan, was Juana. I grew up knowing how much my mother loved Joan and all her closest friends because of their affectionate nicknames. My friend Patty’s nickname is Pisha, and her college roommate Ava’s is Aviva. Patty calls hearing her nickname a love tap that makes her feel special. Sally earned the nickname Sunshine from her group of friends because she brightened everyone’s day. For whatever reason, nicknames are a secret language of friends, and these loving monikers live on for decades.
· Observe your friends’ likes and dislikes. True friends pay attention and are in tune to each other and what they need. Norma does not like tomatoes. Patty has an aversion to cumin. Freddy and Warren are gluten-free. If someone is allergic to perfume or particular foods, afraid of heights, or even diabetic, great friends are in sync with and anticipate their needs.
Excerpted from the book Loving Out Loud and is available Here on Amazon.
Copyright ©2019 by Robyn Spizman. Printed with permission from New World Library — www.newworldlibrary.com.
Author: Bliss
Dedicated to making a positive difference for people, animals, and this beautiful planet!
