I’m sitting with Amy in our tent outside of Marble Falls in central Texas. Our yoga matts that we are on are color coded to our personalities like most of our camping gear; me shades of red or purple and her green, sometimes switching depending on the item but always in those hues. The camping spot we found for the next few days is exceptionally magical. The land is a vast, flat meadow, with soft, soothing mud and largely spaced trees, rising up over a hundred feet shading most of the ground in the canopy of their wide-spread leaves. We are encircled on all sides by the Guadalupe River, except for the large piece of land we crossed to get here.
Madison Smith
This morning I awoke to rain falling on my face through the car window where we sleep. I was having a series of intense dreams that I was eager to return to, so I closed the windows and continued to rest until the late morning.
Dreaming, for me, is a magical time where humans get the opportunity to take a break from the intense reality we all consent in and explore just what our individual soul wants to experience (in most cases).
We have a lighter load there which can make processing our psyche easier and more fun. Even the bad dreams, with horrific and terrifying themes, are more digestible than if we experienced those same horrors in our waking reality. There, we are only limited to our imaginations. I especially appreciate the significance of my dreams today, because, it is the first time I’ve remembered one with such clarity in three years.
An Adventure In Exploration
You see, I’ve had a pot smoking habit since August of 2013 that I let fill my void of comfort, security, and spiritual awakening. As a result, my REM cycle was diminished every time I smoked before bed. It’s ironic too, because the very reason I started smoking was to ease my insomnia! My cannabis use did help me for a while, but I knew I needed to quit when I saw how I let it consume my money, time and daily routines. Chances are if you’ve interacted with me while I was in Phoenix (where I have access to the plant) over the last three years I was high or planning my next chance to be that. To me, this adventure that I’m on with Amy, is my chance to rehabilitate myself. So far I’ve been without it for a week and I’m very grateful for it! I got back my dreams, hooray! To be perfectly honest, I only craved it for a day or two before it left my mind entirely. I’ve tried to quit before but the circumstances have never supported me in this way. I’ve had harder times cutting out caffeine and sugar! That being said, I don’t believe pot to be a bad thing, the opposite actually! It is a very loving, healing plant, that has a lot to teach us. I should know, considering it has been a consistent part of my energy field for so long. However, problems arise when the user is not secure in their connection to Source and themselves.
Cannabis has extreme uplifting effects that can make us feel more in tune with ourselves and the world around us. As a result, people like myself who are on the spiritual path can very easily become dependent on it. And why wouldn’t we? These are the very feelings we seek to achieve through our self-discovery process! Soon though, we all come to find that it is only a filler, a crutch if you will, that at some point we all have to break from if we are truly dedicated to our personal growth.
In conclusion, this is where I’m at on our quest thus far. I’m at a turning point where in leaving behind one spiritual tool, I was given back another, more natural one, to my existence. I am infinitely grateful to be able to explore my dreams again and to be on this beautiful stretch of Earth, that is at this very moment, facilitating the exact expansion I need. While I do foresee points in the future where I will crave the soothing smoke of marijuana, I know that with Amy, Mother Earth and all other teachers at my side, in the upcoming months I will have raised myself up enough to be free from falling prey to that addiction again.
Author: Madison And Amy
Madison and Amy are lifelong best friends on a spiritual quest across the Western United States. They started their adventure in their home of Arizona, and have major stops planned in Texas, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Washington, Oregon and California. Join the journey!
