Question:
Steven - my 40 yr old daughter passed away on August 22 (heart attack). This is the 2nd child that I have lost - a 15 yr old son Matthew died (drunk driver hit him). I am grieving differently - taking on the role of "professional woman" to get everything done including benefits for her son in high school. Since I tend to internalize - I don't want to repeat my behavior - getting diagnosed with PTSD this year. I had been depressed for years but never did anything for it or about it. Any guidance would help....I need to be healthy mentally, emotionally and physically since I have a stressful job as a Southwest Regional LTC Ombudsman dealing with elder issues and investigations. Thanks!
My prayers are with you and your children my friend!
I can't even imagine the hurt and pain from the loss of a child.
My belief is that when we leave our bodies that the magical energy of who we really are becomes part of the most powerful forces of all...and when you think of them and add loving energies that they share your heart beat.
What you have experienced will take time to heal. Below is my response to a woman with PTSD whose husband died in her arms after he was shot in a bar:
It is not abnormal to feel as you do after such an event because of the way the nervous system is hardwired. The following are suggestions that should help the recovery process:
Dealing With Post Traumatic Symptoms
1. Find Support Groups
Check if you have support groups through your city, at your work, club, church, organization etc. Communicating regularly with those who have experienced traumatic events will help speed up the healing process.
2. Take Steps To Give Yourself A Sense Of Reasonable Control.
After a situation such as you experienced most feel a sense of helplessness. So taking clear steps to feel more in control can be beneficial. There are many things we just do not have control over, however, we do have control over where we go and what we do. Avoiding areas that maybe more prone to violence such as parties and places that serve alcohol, etc. maybe a step that will help you feel less vulnerable.
The serenity prayer
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
3. Bathe Yourself In Love
Spend more of your time thinking, saying and doing things that guide you toward loving energies. The more you dwell in thoughts of loving energies and less of those from fear the faster you will heal. Make it a priority to mentally focus on what you want rather than what you don't want in life. By cultivating your connection to loving energies you will discover the most potent healing power available.
4. Spend Time With Nature
Make it a point to spend some time each day outside with some form of nature.
Make a garden
Sit under a tree
Hike a mountain
Visit a peaceful park
Take your dog for a walk
Feed birds
If you have tried all of the above and it does not feel that you are making progress seek a compassionate counselor or therapist for help.
From what you learn through this entire experience will most likely allow you, if you choose so, to be extremely helpful to others who experience tragedies. Helping others is also a way to help you heal.
Of course the above section about control is different with your case. I would recommend deep...slow breathing to calm yourself and show that you have some control over your body. Please keep me informed of your progress.
Blissings,
your ally in Goodness,
STEVE
