Page 18 - Feb 2018 Wellness Magazine

verbal e.g. a nod, smile, silence or a
cold shoulder. No feedback is in itself a
form of feedback.
If the words and actions contradict each
other, it is better to believe the actions!
Conflict Resolution
Conflict resolution can either be
Constructive or Destructive.
Destructive Style – hinders or inhibits
the conflict resolution process:
Confrontational (win or lose, blaming)
Sabotage (focus on weak points,
shaming)
Manipulation (blackmail, withdrawal)
Giving in (passive, submissive)
Avoidance (denial, withdrawal)
Constructive Style – trying to minimize
the issues and avoiding the difficulties in
resolving the problems:
Compromise (meet halfway,
understanding)
Accommodate (open discussion,
communication without confrontation)
Partnership (solutions, forgiveness,
honesty)
When trying to resolve conflicts, try to
clarify your goals, as you will probably
share many of the same goals despite of
your differences. Avoid bargaining, as
this may lead to each party taking a
rigid position which in turn can flare
tempers.
When resolving conflicts, remember that
their causes may run deep. Sweeping
issues under the carpet isn’t going to
Bliss Planet 18
work in the long term, as old baggage
will be brought up each time an
argument starts. Try to fully resolve
each issue as it comes along. You may
find the following method useful:
1. Ask the other person for their
feelings. Your conflict probably isn’t
about the issue that caused it to start in
the first place. Don’t forget that your
goal is sorting out the problem, not
winning an argument!
2. Ask the other person to define the
problem. Stick to solving one problem at
a time, that way you can understand
each problem as the other person sees
it.
3. Express your own feelings. Be careful
to word them carefully, for example use
phrases such as “I feel…” rather than “I
think you…”
4. Define the problem as you see it. As
your feelings come out, the solution may
become clearer. Remember that by you
listening to the other person; you will
have set the tone for them to listen to
you.
5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go
back to your original agenda. Aim to find
alternative or creative solutions that
reduce emotions and tension.
6. Rate the possible solutions.
Remember that no one can force an
unacceptable solution on the other.
7. Combine and create a mutually
acceptable solution. Create something
acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t
work – go back to step 1 and ensure
both parties are being totally honest.
8. Be sure both parties agree to work
towards resolving the issue.