Page 19 - Feb 2018 Wellness Magazine

Troubleshooting For Problems in
Communication

Control or Power Issues: Effective
communication cannot take place if one
person has “control” over the other or
where there is not mutual respect and
equality of relationship. To stay in
control leads to relational isolation as
the underdog reacts in anger at being
manipulated or belittled.

Triangulation: Do not bring in a third
party to avoid direct confrontation. If
you have a problem with someone, go
directly to that person. Don’t dump
your accusations on mutual friends or
your children in the hope of winning
support to balance the scales in your
favor – it leads to more substantial and
long-lasting damage, especially when a
child is used as a weapon between
parents.

19 Steps to Effective Communication

1. See communication as an 4. Communicate in ways that show
opportunity to praise, build-up, affirm,
respect for the other person’s worth as
heal, support and give positive a human being. “Avoid statements
reinforcement, rather than to correct, which begin with the words “You never
criticize, tear down, hurt, wound, lash …” or “I think you …”.
out at. Praise opens doors to further
communication, while criticism shuts 5. Be clear and specific in your
them down. communication. Avoid vagueness.

2. Remember that actions speak louder 6. Be realistic and reasonable in your
than words; non-verbal communication statements. Avoid exaggeration and
usually is more powerful than verbal sentences which begin with “You always
communication. Avoid double messages …”
in which the verbal and the non-verbal
messages convey something 7. Test all your assumptions verbally by
contradictory. (Credibility gap) asking if they are accurate. Avoid
acting until this is done.
3. Define what is important and stress
it; define what is unimportant and de- 8. Recognize that each event can be
emphasize or ignore it. Avoid fault- seen from different points of view.
finding. Avoid assuming that other people see
things like you do. (Perception)

Bliss Planet 19